Feeling invisible? How to find your joy on Mother’s Day when struggling with infertility.

Mother’s Day is celebratory for many, but it is also difficult for those without mothers and those struggling with infertility. It can be painful to see others celebrating the day with their children when you’re holding another negative pregnancy test, just learned that another round of fertility treatment was unsuccessful, or you have suffered a pregnancy loss. Many see Mother’s Day as a day set aside for women with children, but remember that it is also a day to celebrate and honor the love, care, and dedication that all women show to those around them.

Individuals struggling with infertility often feel invisible on Mother’s Day and dread the day as it approaches. The feeling of invisibility is isolating and heartbreaking for those experiencing it. Although you’ve experienced multiple heartbreaks and disappointments on your journey to motherhood, it’s paramount to remember and acknowledge that your journey to motherhood is just as important and valid as anyone else’s. Finding ways to add meaning to your journey may be just what you need to feel less invisible on Mother’s Day.

Honoring yourself on Mother’s Day

Here are some ways to experience visibility and honor yourself and your journey on Mother’s Day:

Celebrate YOU: Take the time to celebrate yourself and your journey. Reflect on the strength after each disappointment, your resilience after losing hope, and the courage you’ve shown to show up each time and try again while trying to conceive. These qualities make you the valuable, beautiful, strong, and resilient person you are, and you deserve to celebrate those qualities. You are unique, and you matter regardless of whether you have children on Mother’s Day or if someone acknowledges your presence.

Connect with others: “Find your people.” Connect with others who understand the struggles of coping with infertility. You may find support groups, online communities, or even friends and relatives who have gone through a similar experience. Surrounding yourself with others who understand your journey can help you feel seen, validated, and supported.

Share your story: Deciding to share your story can be scary; it takes courage to share your vulnerability with others who may not understand the challenges of infertility. Sharing your story helps you heal; it empowers you by removing the stigma of not being enough because you aren’t a mother. Sharing your story gives voice to others struggling with infertility and experiencing shame and isolation from others. You may also help others understand and become more aware of the challenges that come with infertility. Choose how you want to share your story through social media, blogs, or conversations with friends and family.

Participate in advocacy: Consider participating in advocacy efforts that raise awareness of infertility and support those struggling with it. If you need help figuring out where to start, click on the link for resolve.org https://resolve.org/take-action/become-an-advocate/ to get information on becoming an advocate.

Celebrate Mother’s Day your way: What does this day mean to you? How can you show yourself grace today? Acknowledge how you have persevered despite the challenges. Find a way to celebrate Mother’s Day that feels meaningful to you. Your celebration may include taking the day off from social media, spending time with loved ones, booking a weekend getaway, exploring things in your city that you have not done, ordering food and watching your favorite movie or TV show, or reading a book; the list is endless. No matter how you choose to “Do it your way,” make sure it brings you joy.

Remember that your journey to motherhood is unique. You are not invisible, and your experiences and feelings are valid. Finding ways to celebrate and honor yourself on Mother’s Day can help you feel seen and supported.

I am a fertility psychologist in Los Angeles and offer complimentary 15-minute initial consultations. If you are a woman or couple seeking infertility counseling, you may click here to schedule an appointment.

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