How To Cope With Mother’s Day When You’re struggling With Infertility.

woman in pink blouse with flower

Mother’s Day is not a welcomed holiday for everyone, especially women struggling with infertility. As Mother’s Day draws nearer, you may find yourself battling a plethora of unwanted emotions. Many women struggling with infertility may feel invisible, isolated, sad, angry, confused, jealous, and lost on Mother’s Day. Sightings of babies and pregnant women may lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and sadness. For many women struggling with infertility, Mother’s Day is a painful reminder of a void they may never fill.

How To The Mother’s Day Celebration At Church?

It may be challenging for women who find themselves worshipping with their spiritual community on Mother’s Day. Churches usually have a ceremony where each mother is presented with a flower to acknowledge her motherhood. The ceremony, although deserving, spotlights the lack of awareness church leaders have of the pain of those struggling with infertility. You may decide to skip church for a private spiritual ceremony on Mother’s Day if worship is necessary for you. If skipping church is not an option, leave the sanctuary before the ceremony begins and return after. Schedule a meeting with the church leaders; encourage them to consider acknowledging women struggling with fertility on Mother’s Day.

How To Celebrate Your Mother On Mother’s Day While Coping With Infertility?

Consider making plans with your mom on the Friday or Saturday before Mother’s Day. Let her know that Sunday is difficult, and you would like to spend the actual day quietly. Maybe you could cook one of her favorite meals and spend the afternoon doing one of her favorite activities. Enjoy an afternoon sharing tea sandwiches, pastries, and a pot of her favorite tea, topped with a great conversation. If you both feel up to it, invite others, so it’s a fun ladies day together. I’m sure your mother would love it and feel special.

Isolation Is Not Your Only Option; Find A Supportive Fertility Community.

Finding a community that understands your pain may be beneficial during this time. Make plans with others you may know that are struggling with infertility. Plan a virtual gathering, a lunch, dinner, or even a game day. Consider sharing with the group how infertility has impacted your life and what it means to have a supportive community. Sharing the day with others lets you know that you have a community and are not on this journey alone.

A Getaway Weekend, Perhaps?

If you choose to be alone or with your significant other, plan something you both would enjoy doing. Your plans may be as simple as waking up, making breakfast, and lounging around all day. If you feel adventurous, plan a day or a weekend trip somewhere you have always wanted to go. Spend the weekend enjoying nature and activities that you love.

Managing Social Media and Television

Limit your time on social media and television as images may trigger negative emotions for you.

Protect Your Mental Health!

Know that it is okay to turn down any invitations to celebrate Mother’s Day. Let others know that you are not available. Share only information that you feel comfortable providing. Remember that your mental health and overall well-being are important and vital as you go on this journey towards fertility. So, on Mother’s Day, find what is suitable for you and do something that makes you feel happy. Struggling with infertility does not make you are less of a person, and it certainly does not make you invisible. Infertility is not your identity. You are an incredible individual faced with a challenging journey. Hopefully, you’ll find your path to parenthood and what that means for you.

I am a fertility psychologist in Los Angeles and offer complimentary 15 min initial consultations. If you are a woman or couple seeking infertility counseling, you may click here to schedule an appointment.

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