Have you ever sat in an exam room, nodding politely while a doctor talked at you, not with you?
You’re trying to keep up with acronyms, options, and next steps, but your brain is foggy, your heart is racing, and none of it is sinking in. You’re sitting there, trying to be “good,” trying not to seem too emotional, trying not to cry, trying not to ask that one last question that might make someone roll their eyes or label you as “difficult.”
So instead, you nod. You smile. You say, “Okay, thank you.”
And you leave the office with a lump in your throat and more questions than answers.
If you’ve ever had that experience, I want you to know: you’re not alone, and you’re not wrong for wanting more clarity.
There is nothing “extra” about wanting to understand what’s happening in your own body. It’s reasonable to need space to think things through. It’s okay to need something repeated, explained more slowly, or said in a different way. That’s not weakness. That’s what it looks like to be engaged, to care deeply, to be present.
Whether you’re exploring egg freezing, trying to conceive, recovering from a pregnancy loss, or navigating a fertility diagnosis, these are tender, often overwhelming moments. And you’re allowed to approach them with curiosity, caution, and care.
So if you’re sitting in that exam room, confused, scared, and overwhelmed, pause.
Take a breath.
Then try this:
- “I need a moment before we move on.”
- “Can you walk me through that again in simpler terms?”
- “I still have questions. Can we slow down?”
- “I’m not ready to make a decision yet.”
You’re not asking for too much; you’re asking for what helps you feel informed, safe, and steady.
You don’t need to have all the right words.
You just need to use your voice.
Your voice belongs in the room, you belong in the room, fully seen and heard.
Because care isn’t only about procedures and protocols, it’s about people. And you are not a case number. You are a whole human being. Speak up, ask again, take your time.
That is self-respect, self-love, and the truest kind of care: choosing to show up for yourself.
It’s how you take up space in a system that doesn’t always feel caring and too often expects you to shrink.
I am a fertility psychologist in California and Maryland and offer complimentary 15-minute initial consultations. If you are a woman, birthing person, or couple seeking infertility counseling, you may click here to schedule an appointment.