You saw it.
She left. Or she launched the business she had been working on nights and weekends for two years. Or she finally had the conversation she kept putting off. You found out the way you find out about most things now: her name in your feed, a text, someone mentioning it at lunch.
You read it twice. And then you set your phone face down and went back to your afternoon.
You try to return to what you were doing.
Her name comes back.
She did it.
Your thoughts flood your mind.
How long have I been sitting with mine?
What have I actually done with it?
Why is it still where it is?
How many times have I come back to this?
What am I waiting for?
Why haven’t I done it?
What is wrong with me?
How am I still here?
How many times have I told myself I was going to move on this?
At this point, am I even going to do it?
She made the move. You are still here.
You built the career you planned for. Somewhere in the last year or two, the day-to-day became a matter of going through the motions.
You sit in the leadership meeting and say what needs to be said. You hear yourself agreeing with things you have been questioning for a while. You sound clear, prepared, and confident, but beneath the surface, you feel uncertain.
You have thought about this goal for a long time. You have made the list of things to do, run the numbers, and talked about it over and over, but fear keeps you immobile. You continue to wait for the perfect moment when the ground feels solid enough to step onto. That perfect moment never arrives because it arrives after you take the step.
The women I work with who make the move have been honest with themselves about what staying costs them. You feel it in how you talk about the work you used to enjoy. You feel it in the pause after you give advice.
Sit with this before you move on.
What did you feel when you saw it?
Before you had a name for it. Before you moved past it and kept going.
Start there.
You’re still waiting for the moment to feel right.
You already have what you need.
I am a clinical psychologist in California and Maryland and offer complimentary 15-minute initial consultations. If you are a professional woman seeking counseling, you may click here to schedule an appointment.